Buddhist professor THICH NU TINH QUANG : PRACTICING BUDDHISM IN EVERYDAY LIFE

Thich Nu Tinh Quang

Having discussed the Noble Eightfold Path, we now can see further how its instructions from the Buddhist point of view, which should be followed so that our world became a better place. But life is very diverse, and we often cannot ever realize that we are making something against those instructions, and this deed or thought sooner or later will become harmful to you or other people. Our sight is often faded by the state we are in and we cannot recognize the three poisons of greed, hatred and delusion from ours deviant thoughts that faded our wisdom. For that reason to a resolution of this thesis in the following chapter, I will discuss how Buddha’s teaching can change different elements of our lives.

The Buddhists believe that to practice the teaching, it is not necessarily to sit for hours in the lotus position, wearing exotic oriental clothes, or recite mantras. Dharma practice can be carried out in everyday life. In their view, the practice of Buddhism is not so much in a prayer but in the nature of communication with the people around you and as in the thoughts with which you take up any job. The word ‘dharma’ in some way means a protective method. This is what we do to avoid the problems. Practice of dharmas or the Buddhist teaching is specifically aimed at eliminating the problems by perfecting our mind and the development of compassion.

How can the development of compassion actually eliminate the negative issues? Buddhism teaches that every man who is being angry and hatred, at the same time, he is giving offense by words or even making a real harm that is faded with depressions of the mind. In the fact, the depressions arises from his dissatisfaction, and he is hoping with the help of the backbiting or bad deeds to ease this state to become a little bit happier. He is envious with everyone who looks more calm and happier than he is himself. This is understandable that in such a way as a deluded man is unlikely to achieve happiness, and that is why, in a Buddhist point of view, he deserves compassion.

After all, in everyone who was born a man, or a living being ingeneral, there is a nature of the Buddha (Tathagatagarbha) - enlightenment or frequent awakening. A lot of problems that occur in everyday life because we are chasing delusions, loss of awareness, so anger often employed inside our minds. The anger should be aimed not at someone who is being deluded, but one the delusion itself, which makes this someone unhappy and encourages to hurt other living beings. We can compare such defilement to the evil man who picked up a stick and hit the dog. Inexperienced dog may be angry at the stick, and even bite it up until it guesses that the real harm comes from the one who holds the stick. The same goes with anger: do not get angry with the person who expresses it: he, in this case, is like a stick in the hands of an evil man - a weapon 'in the hands' of his defilement.[1]

On the contrary, we must start compassionate heart to person who is angry in hurtful words to you: because such a behavior means that he or she is unhappy. According to the Dalai Lama, although people are great and friendly or unattractive and troublesome, ultimately they are human beings, just like you, they want happiness and do not want suffering. Moreover, their right to overcome suffering and be happy is equal like you. Now, when you realize that all beings are equal in their desire for happiness and their rights in order to achieve this, you will automatically receive the sympathy and closeness to them. Through accustoming with your mind, with the consciousness of the whole altruism, you develop a feeling of responsibility for others: the wish to actively help them overcome problems. Nor is this wish selective; it applies equally to all. As long they are human beings experiencing pleasure and pain like you, there is no reasonable basis to discriminate between them or to change your concern to them if they behave negatively.[2] This will be an excellent practice of Dharma in daily life.

Whether someone offends you intentionally or accidentally, as Buddhist teachers say, you should mentally thank this person because he or she has just given you a good reason to train in the practice of Buddhist teaching. If you resist and do not take offense, you cannot experience a great joy of having done one more step on the path of Dharma. If you break out with irritation in response, then people would simply find your weak spo and hurt your feelings and awakened your pride. In this case, from Buddhist viewpoint, you should remember this case and work with it.

Explaining what it means to practice Buddhism in daily life, Alexander Berzin defines it the following way: When we have problems, we turn inwards, trying to find their source inside us, and as soon as we have defined it; we try to change the situation from within. The main, the deepest cause of our problems within us is our own attitudes, especially our confusion. However, Berzin warns us that turning inwards in searching a root of a certain problem does not imply a moral judgment on how good or bad person we are. Also, there is no sense in this self-blame or self-praise. We just need to figure out where is the root cause of our suffering, and eliminate it and become happier.[3]

The help to other living beings is also the practice of Dharma; which is a necessary virtue in daily basis to Buddhists. The Buddha said: “Be kind to all creatures; this is the true religion.” To start, we try to practice the help of our loved ones first, and after people all around us; for example, if the husband locked himself in a room to read book, and his wife was washing the dishes or cooking for the whole family with her happiness, in this case, his wife would be a much better Buddhist than his husband. So, there is no point in the many hours of praying and doing specific practices if our efforts do not manifest themselves by helping other simply in our daily life.

To Buddhist adherents, the occasion to practice the Dharma can be any situation of life. If you are standing in a traffic jam - instead of being irritated, you can recite the mantra or keep mindfulness of your breathing, so your mind wouldn’t longer worry about waiting for the road would quickly clear, and all the members of the movement could continue their journey. Driving on public transport, you have an opportunity to practice patience and compassion. Do you concede the sitting place when you are tired yourself? Do you feel angry those who pushed you? What are your thoughts during a long journey? The teachers of Buddhism urge all of us to think about it.

Buddhism thinks that it is not necessary to separate religious practices and real life; for laity the events that occur around them is the best school of Buddhism. If you get sick and have to stay in bed, facing death, you can also use this time to reflect on your life, such as having prayer, raise the awareness, and contemplate of your distresses and realms that you will go to. Pende Hawter shows in “Death and Dying in the Tibetan Buddhist Tradition” that: “Contemplation and meditation on death and impermanence are regarded as very important in Buddhism for two reasons: (1) it is only by recognizing how precious and how short life is that we are most likely to make it meaningful and to live it fully and (2) by understanding the death process and familiarizing ourselves with it, we can remove fear at the time of death and ensure a good rebirth.

Because the way in which we live our lives and our state of mind at death directly influence our future lives, it is said that the aim or mark of a spiritual practitioner is to have no fear or regrets at the time of death. People who practice to the best of their abilities will die; it is said in a state of great bliss. The mediocre practitioner will die happily. Even the initial practitioner will have neither fear nor dread at the time of death, so one should aim at achieving at least the smallest of these results.

There are two common meditations on death in the Tibetan tradition. The first looks at the certainty and imminence of death and what will be of benefit at the time of death in order to motivate us to make the best use of our lives. The second is a simulation or rehearsal of the actual death process, which familiarizes us with death and takes away the fear of the unknown, thus allowing us to die skillfully. Traditionally, in Buddhist countries, one is also encouraged to go to a cemetery or burial ground to contemplate on death and become familiar with this inevitable event.

The first of these meditations is known as the nine-round death meditation, in which we contemplate the three roots, the nine reasons, and the three convictions, as described below:

A. Death is certain

1. There is no possible way to escape death. No-one ever has, not even Jesus, Buddha, etc. Of the current world population of over 5 billion people, almost none will be alive in 100 years time.

2. Life has a definite, inflexible limit and each moment brings us closer to the finality of this life. We are dying from the moment we are born.

3. Death comes in a moment and its time is unexpected. All that separates us from the next life is one breath.

Conviction: To practice the spiritual path and ripen our inner potential by cultivating positive mental qualities and abandoning disturbing mental qualities.

B. The time of death is uncertain

4. The duration of our lifespan is uncertain. The young can die before the old, the healthy before the sick, etc.

5. There are many causes and circumstances that lead to death but few that favour the sustenance of life. Even things that sustain life can kill us, for example food, motor vehicles, property.

6. The weakness and fragility of one's physical body contribute to life's uncertainty. The body can be easily destroyed by disease or accident, for example cancer, AIDS, vehicle accidents, other disasters.

Conviction: To ripen our inner potential now, without delay

C. The only thing that can help us at the time of death is our mental/spiritual developments

(Because all that goes on to the next life is our mind with its karmic (positive or negative) imprints.)

7. Worldly possessions such as wealth, position, money can't help

8. Relatives and friends can neither prevent death nor go with us.

9. Even our own precious body is of no help to us. We have to leave it behind like a shell, an empty husk, an overcoat.

Conviction: To ripen our inner potential purely, without staining our efforts with attachment to worldly concerns…”[4]

Contemplating the actual death process is very important because advanced practitioners can engage in a series of yogas that are modeled on death and rebirth until they gain such control over them that they are no longer subject to ordinary uncontrolled death and rebirth.

Love - family is another vast field of opportunities to learn something to become more patient, supportive and compassionate. You just have no be afraid to open your heart, to be grateful for all the goods in the difficult moments, and to better understand the good qualities of your life partner or others. Loving and taking full responsibility with your wife (husband) and your children is a noble qualities that a Buddhist should be done.

Communication with elderly parents or other relatives is another example of such a situation. In our time, it has become almost fashionable to blame the parents for not doing something for us earlier or for doing something wrong. Many even see the meaning of the currently developing theories of psychotherapy and psychoanalysis as to blame their parents: they say, they were not loved in their childhood, and poorly cared for and that became the cause of all their complexes in the adult life. Nevertheless, people who think in such a way, according to the convictions of the Buddhist, without the fact that psychotherapy, as well as Buddhism says that every adult has a responsibility for his own life. Perhaps someone forgot the priceless gifts that his or her parents giving to him or her. You should be thankful to them at least for the fact that you were born, and in addition, they have fed you and clothed you, gave you the knowledge of the world, and so on. Further be grateful for the parents, the Buddhists also have to know how to repay the debt they owe their parents in an ethical way. The Buddha explains what we should repay the debt we owe our parents:

"I tell you, monks, there are two people who are not easy to repay. Which two? Your mother & father.

Even if you were to carry your mother on one shoulder & your father on the other shoulder for 100 years, and were to look after them by anointing, massaging, bathing, & rubbing their limbs, and they were to defecate & urinate right there [on your shoulders], you would not in that way pay or repay your parents. If you were to establish your mother & father in absolute sovereignty over this great earth, abounding in the seven treasures, you would not in that way pay or repay your parents.

Why is that? Mother & father did much for their children. They care for them, they nourish them, and they introduce them to this world. But anyone who rouses his unbelieving mother & father, settles & establishes them in conviction; rouses his unvirtuous mother & father, settles & establishes them in virtue; rouses his stingy mother & father, settles & establishes them in generosity; rouses his foolish mother & father, settles & establishes them in discernment: To this extent one pays & repays one's mother & father."[5]

Perhaps they were not perfect but they certainly tried as best they could. For the Buddhists, the persons themselves are responsible for what happens in their lives, for the formation of their characters and all of their problems:

“By oneself is evil done,
by oneself defiled,
by oneself it’s left undone,
by self alone one purified.
Purity, impurity on oneself depend,
no one can purify another.”[6]

(Attana hi kataj papaj

Attana savkilissati

Attana akataj papaj

Attana va visujjhati

Suddhi asuddhi paccattaj

N'abbo abbaj visodhaye.)

In our daily life, if we are aware that all of problems come from ourselves, we will have sympathy and love easier for the people around us.

[1] Nanasampanno, Acariya Maha Boowa, Things As They Are

[2] The fourteenth Dalai Lama, Compassion and the Individual

[3] Berzin, Alexander. “Anger: Dealing with Disturbing Emotions.”

[4] Ven. Pende Hawter, “Death and Dying in the Tibetan Buddhist Tradition”

[5] AN 2.31-32, Bhikkhu-Kataññu Suttas