THE PRECEPT TO REFRAIN FROM SEXUAL MISCONDUCT

Thich Nu Tinh Quang

 The third one of the five precepts is about ‘abandoning illicit sex’. In the sutras, the Buddha explained that the refusal from adultery, as a part of five precepts, is also refusal of rape and abduction, as these actions are involuntary manifestation of passion and violence both. In cases of rape and abduction, which seems to have been quite common in the relatively loose community of the Buddha's time; violence is committing not only to a certain woman, but to her parents or guardians as well.
In the case of adultery, violence exposed the woman's husband, as his family life deliberately destroyed. It should also be noted that in Buddhism marriage is purely a civil contract, not a sacrament. Moreover, the divorce and the monogamy are totally permissible and not mandatory from a religious point of view. In some countries, there are Buddhist communities, in which polygamy is practiced, and that does not consider an ‘incorrect sexual behavior’. Moreover, the third precept also includes other different senses, for example, one of them is overindulgence of eating process, which not only encourages the rich and those in power to eat more of what they need, at the expense of those who are deprived of such privileges, - in a global sense; this is causing a catastrophic malnutrition and hunger in the countries of the Third World - but also entails illness, numbness and apathy. Another one example is in satiety of the contemplation of beautiful pictures and hearing - the perception of beautiful sounds, since all pleasures of this kind quickly rise the appearance of attachments and are not conducive to the practice (Thanissaro Bhikkhu).

 Its positive matching called ‘santustah’ (Pali – santutthi) or the contentment. If the person is single, he or she should be content with its celibate state. On the other hand, marriage means to content with your partner who is recognized by surrounding community. In such case, satisfaction is not just the passive acceptance of the existing situation. In terms of modern psychology, it is a positive state of freedom from the need to use sex to satisfy neurotic needs in general and the use of sex to satisfy the neurotic need for change, in particular.   

 Compliance with rule ‘Refraining from committing sexual misconduct’, people can obtain the dignity, and freedom from all fears and dangers:

"Furthermore, abandoning illicit sex, the disciple of the noble ones abstains from illicit sex. In doing so, he gives freedom from danger, freedom from animosity, freedom from oppression to limitless numbers of beings. In giving freedom from danger, freedom from animosity, freedom from oppression to limitless numbers of beings, he gains a share in limitless freedom from danger, freedom from animosity, and freedom from oppression. This is the third gift...”[1]

The third moral precept is energy practice of our sex; it’s more or less important than the four other precepts. The purpose of this precept is to control ourselves, not engage in unhealthy sexual activity, and to avoid harming ourselves and others.

In most cultures, this is not easily separate the ideas about sex from the idea of sin. There are a lot of strong feelings associated with sex and sexual activity; it may be difficult to think clearly about them. However, we try to leave it aside and look at what the Buddha actually talking about sexual activity.

The Buddha considered the human actions: He taught that every action from our body, speech and mind that create happiness or misery in living. He is not interested in philosophy or opinion for its own interest. He just put the most basic principles; that it is nice and not hurt ourselves or others. If we are honest and careful application of this rule for our actions, we will avoid harming anyone and make the peace and trust each other to our inner world.

“Every evil never doing

And in wholesomeness increasing

And one’s heart well-purifying:

This is the Buddha’s Teaching.”[2]  

(Sabbapapassa akaranaj

Kusalassa upasampada

Sacittapariyodapanaj

Etaj buddhana sasanaj.)

In Buddhism, marriage is not a sacrament but a commitment to a specific set of actions. The Buddha did not use the framework to judge marriage and morality. Instead, on his platform is the law of cause and effect (karma), or action. What we've done in the past (or in the past lives) affect our situation now. We also build causality by your current action. If we accept the law of causality as moral model results, the importance is to focus the mind where every action we do: negative actions bring disastrous consequences, and positive actions bring beneficial results for ourselves and others. Noting your intentions and outcomes of our actions from the small things are the most important, just as simple as that.

 “Think lightly not of evil,

‘It will not come to me’,

For by the falling of water drops

A water jar is filled.

The fool with evil fills himself,

He soaks up little by little.”[3]  

(Mavamabbetha papassa

Na maj taj agamissati

Udabindunipatena

Udakumbho pi purati

Balo purati papassa

Thokathokam pi acinaj.)

A happy couple is actually when sexual activity is an expression of love in a committed relationship. A healthy sex life can bind two persons in love together for many years. It is often a barometer for happy emotions to the partners. It could provide the impetus to melt the unnecessary negative that happens in marriage; a satisfying sex life in open relations and legitimacy can be a reflection of sharing, trust, acceptance, and mutual understanding.

Understanding and accepting in marriage is very necessary to help us completely responsibility for one’s family; that is also a best merit. In the Mangala Sutta, the Buddha describes the many ways in which blessings arrive. In this verse, he said doing one’s family duty as the gift or blessing:

The support of mother and father,

The welfare of spouse and children,

Engaging in unconflicting livelihood;

This is the greatest blessing.[4]

And what if we don’t have an exclusive partner? In modern cultures, sexual experimentation is regarded as a matter of course, and supposed celibacy as an option; this at least would keep us avoiding any major mistakes. But the general rule is that only a partner at a time, and deceit that is not acceptable in relationships. Honesty and trust together are essential in an intimate relationship. Breaking the general principle that is considered immoral behavior in Buddhism:

“Four things befall that heedless one

Sleeping with one who’s wed:

Demerit gained but not good sleep,

Third is blame while fourth is hell.”[5]  

(Cattari thanani naro pamatto

Apajjati paradarupasevi

Apubbalabhaj nanikamaseyyaj

Nindaj tatiyaj nirayaj catutthaj.)

“Demerit’s gained and evil birth,

Scared man and women - brief their joy,

The king decrees a heavy doom:

So none should sleep with one who’s wed.” [6]  

 (Apubbalabho ca gati ca papika

Bhitassa bhitaya rati ca thokika

Raja ca dandaj garukaj paneti

Tasma naro paradaraj na seve.)

To keep the precept, the Buddha advised us to be careful to our wrong actions as the following:

“Abandoning misconduct in sensual pleasures, he abstains from misconduct in sensual pleasures; he does not have intercourse with women who are protected by their mother, father, brother, sister, or relatives, who have a husband, who are protected by law, or with those who are garlanded in token of betrothal.” [7]

Acts in the field of sexual activity outside partners have painful consequences. It's easy to hurt the feelings for others, and causing hurt feelings for other but even yourself. To avoid hurting yourself and others, the Buddha teaches us to recognize clearly those desires never make us satisfied:

“Not by rain of golden coins

Is found desires’ satiety,

Desires are dukkha, of little joy,

Thus a wise one understands.”[8]   

(Na kahapanavassena

Titti kamesu vijjati

Appassada dukkha kama

Iti vibbaya pandito.)

Sex is a kind of illusion, where the nervous system is stimulated by 6 external senses, and thinking craving arises. It is the great illusion which makes us enthralled as we were intrigued by the colored lights on the stage. And the result of the hallucination is touched sexually and continuance of the race as a whole.

  “…the interesting thing for us to note is how sex - like everything else - is a purely impersonal force. We tend to think of it in intensely personal terms, but in actual fact it is a force that just flows through us and uses our most wonderful and inspiring emotions for its own ends, which are totally concerned with the continuance of the race as a whole. The idea that it is just a private and wonderful thing between you and me is merely a part of our general illusion. Altogether, it is a prolific breeder of illusions. It can lead a man to think he has found the most wonderful woman in the whole world while everybody else is thinking, ‘What on earth can he possibly see in her?’”[9]   

When our perception is distorted by the desire for sex, we do not realize its illusions. But the observers, who are not affected by the desire, see it more clearly.

   “… A Bhikkhu [practitioner] understands mind affected by lust as mind affected by lust, and mind unaffected by lust as mind unaffected by lust.”[10]  

 “Even with pleasures heavenly

That one finds no delight,

The perfect Buddha’s pupil

Delights in craving’s end.”[11]   

(Api dibbesu kamesu

Ratij so nadhigacchati

Tanhakkhayarato hoti

 Sammasambuddhasavako.)

 On the positive side, there are two ways to do with the third precept. Firstly, remember the received precept before we have any behavior action that can lead us into a bad situation which can cause damage. If we are tempted to start an adulterous relationship, think seriously about what would happen after the results of the first meeting and passion. We can imagine an outcome that everyone is happy and no one would be hurt? Such non-sexual relationship can be close and meaning in healthy elements. Secondly, if we extend the idea of ​​sensual energy of mindfulness to include all sources of energy that we exchange with others, view and interact with interactive elements, and contemplation. These are all non-sexual ways to interact with others that can express and build intimacy, trust and love.

 Like the four others, this precept is mindfulness’ exercise. It is an invitation to observe our actions and motivations more closely, as they just happened.

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[1] AN 8.39, tr.Thanissaro Bhikkhu

[2]  DhP183/Translated from Pali by Ven. Weragoda Sarada Maha Thero  

[3] DhP121/Ibid

[4] Sn 2.4 tr. John Kelly

[5]  DhP309/Translated from Pali by Ven. Weragoda Sarada Maha Thero  

[6] DhP310/Ibid

[7] MN41.12. tr. Bhikkhu Ñāṇamoli Bhikkhu Bodhi

[8] DhP186/Translated from Pali by Ven. Weragoda Sarada Maha Thero  

[9] Maurice Walshe, Buddhism and Sex

[10] MN10, tr. Bhikkhu Ñāṇamoli Bhikkhu Bodhi

[11] DhP187/Translated from Pali by Ven. Weragoda Sarada Maha Thero